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Got Respect?
Inarguably, times are tough. Business is soft, prices are high, morale is low and fuses are short. In challenging times such as these, civility towards others is often the first to go. You’re just trying to stay afloat; do you really need to concern yourself with co-workers’ feelings as well? The answer, if you want to stay in business now and be ready for the better times sure to come, is a resounding ‘yes’.
Businesses may survive, but they never thrive when basic respect for others is lacking. According to Sirota Survey Intelligence, the number one way to retain good workers and improve employees’ engagements in their jobs is to treat all employees with dignity and respect. The consulting firmStackpole and Associates concurs, saying “It’s absolutely clear that the reasons people stay in jobs are the relationships they have – primarily with their immediate superior.
It would follow that all companies would need to do to protect the sizable investments they have made in hiring and training their employees is to make sure everyone is treating everyone else with respect. Unfortunately, this is not happening. According to the Academy of Management Journal, nearly 80% of employees believe they get no respect at work, and 60% think the situation is getting worse.
What can companies do to combat the lost productivity, low morale, damage to company reputation and exorbitant cost of employee turnover that disrespect in the workplace causes? A lot. And it starts at the top. Companies need to foster a culture of respect by establishing a “gold standard” of behavior. To “keep the right people on the bus” management must:
• Model respect towards others of differing viewpoints, philosophies, religions, genders, lifestyles, ethnicities, physical abilities, ages, beliefs and personalities.
• Establish a culture that formally defines appropriate and inappropriate conduct.
• Challenge employees to recognize their potential disrespect ‘blind spots.’
• Confront disrespectful behavior respectfully, specifically and immediately.
• Provide employees the opportunity to air their concerns without fear of consequences.
• Employ the ‘Platinum Rule’: Treat others the way they wish to be treated.
The benefits to an organization where everyone – not just management – is treated with respect are myriad and measurable, and have an immediate impact. Morale goes up, absenteeism goes down. Productivity goes up, complaints go down. Profits go up, costly turnover goes down. Employees take pride in their work and in their company, which comes across loud and clear among clients, competitors and in the community. Aretha Franklin once said that “what you want” is what you’ll get... by showing respect. Could it be that easy? Maybe it could.
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Women and Business Entertaining
Finally, your prospect is ready. Just one more meeting stands between you and this business you have so diligently pursued, and yes, richly deserve. What could possibly go wrong? Well, this particular meeting is a dinner meeting and let it be noted, you are a woman and your guest is a man. And in a flash, a whole new set of responsibilities fall squarely into your lap. Where to go, what to do, what to say, how to pay? And most important, how to make sure this dinner is the beginning of a great new partnership, not a reason to question it.
You may think that in the year 2008, questions about entertaining male clients at business dinners would have long ago been answered. You are right, they have been. But not everyone, including your guest, has been paying attention. So how do you seamlessly and correctly plan and execute a successful business dinner that will only further enhance your prospect’s confidence in you and your company? Well, the same way you do everything else: with skill, forethought and precision. Simply knowing your responsibilities as host will enable you to concentrate on the most important aspect of this occasion: the cementing of your business relationship.
So what exactly are your duties? They are myriad, but wholly manageable, and begin long before the shrimp cocktail is ordered. First and foremost, this is a business occasion, not a social one, and typical social gender roles are not in play. You will decide what level of entertaining this occasion merits. Is this a five-star restaurant kind of dinner, or something more informal? What kind of setting and food might your guest enjoy? Suggesting two or three kinds of food, without putting pressure upon your guest to actually choose the restaurant, is a good strategy. Next, make the reservation and arrive early. Let the maitre’d know you are hosting this meal, and pre-arrange for the payment of the bill by leaving your credit card. This works beautifully in avoiding that potentially awkward moment when the bill arrives. Even in business situations, some men will reach for the check, and you will have artfully sidestepped this conversation.
Once your guest arrives, you are on! Start by making him feel welcome and valued. Invite him to sit in the best seat, i.e., the one with the better view or the plush upholstery, Offer your guest a cocktail, and join him, if you like. However, if he is not drinking alcohol, you would not want to, either. Talk through the menu and make suggestions from the high end of the price range, so that he will feel comfortable in ordering anything that suits him. Offer wine with dinner, and if it is accepted, ask the server for recommendations to compliment the meals. Better still, do research about the wine list in advance and taste the wine when the bottle arrives. Make sure your table manners are up to snuff! And be ready to steer the conversation toward non-controversial, non-business related topics, remembering that it is the development of the rapport you are really after.
Oscar Wilde once said “The world was my oyster, but I used the wrong fork.” The grace with which one handles the details do matter, as people tend to think if someone is skilled in one area, they are likely skilled in another. In your client’s estimation, it all adds up: you will indeed be a worthy partner. You impressed him with both your business and social savvy, and finally, the deal really is done!
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Not a Golfer? Not a Problem.
It is a simply gorgeous summer day, and where are you? Well, in the office, of course. Dutifully making those sales calls, following-up upon those leads, and generally keeping your nose to the grindstone. And where is everyone else, the men, especially? Nowhere to be seen. But you have an idea. And you’re right. They’re on the golf course.
It is a truism: in business, golf matters. Whether cementing an existing business relationship or fostering a new one, nothing quite compares to golf. It is an hours-long uninterrupted sales call with a willingly captive and grateful audience in a beautiful setting. Away from the office, with no distractions, it provides time to relax and get to know one another. It establishes common ground and paves the way for the successful business discussions to come. There is only one problem: you don’t golf. You have never really been interested in golf, or, you’ve been interested, but have never found the time to learn, or, you’ve taken a few lessons, but have never gotten good. Now what?
Conventional wisdom would have it that in order to engage in business golf, one must be a golfer. The idea, after all, is to make a good impression upon a client or colleague, isn’t it? Well, yes. However, unbeknownst to many a novice golfer, a good impression (or bad one) has far less to do with how well one plays the game than with how one conducts oneself while playing it. As Barbara Puett, author of Business Golf said “It’s not how good you are, but how good you are to play with.” Sure, basic knowledge of the sport is required. You would want to know your irons from your woods, your long game from your short game and a birdie from a bogie. A lesson or two and some time at the driving range will surely help. But while familiarity with the rules of golf is important, knowing the rules of golf etiquette is arguably even more so. And, this knowledge is the quickest way to level the playing field with someone who has been on the links for decades.
• Experienced players and golf pros universally agree that for a successful, enjoyable game of golf, skill is optional, but etiquette is mandatory. So what are some of the things to keep in mind?
• Attitude is everything, of course, but it is really everything on the golf course. One’s demeanor, reactions to stressful situations and general sportsmanship will be under close scrutiny, with the question of one’s suitability as a business partner perhaps hanging in the balance. Cheating, whining and cursing will not reflect well!
• Cell phone use or the use of any portable electronic device during play is considered one of golf’s biggest taboos. Making calls, taking calls, or e-mailing while others are waiting is the quickest way to ensure you will never be a part of that foursome again.
• Keeping the round moving is critical. Be prepared to play when it is your turn, do not spend too much time looking for your ball, and keep pace with the group in front of you. Everyone on the course will be appreciative!
• Dress standards are strict. Regardless of one’s level of play, there is little excuse for not knowing and adhering to the current standards of dress. It is a matter of respect for oneself, one’s companions, the course and the game.
• Preparation is key. Hosts and guests will want to know what is expected of them before, during and after the round. Rules of golf etiquette apply to everything from where to drop one’s clubs to when to talk business, to how to make the best impression on the “19 hole.”
On his top-ten tip list for success in business, Donald Trump advises “Play golf.” With a little preparation about the game of golf and golf etiquette, anyone, including you, can take advantage of the limitless benefits business golf has to offer!
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E-Quip Yourself with E-Etiquette
Did you know that 183 billion emails are sent every day? That’s 2 million emails per second, sent by more than 1.2 billion people, including you, everyday. Of this unfathomable number, approximately 80% is spam. (Yes, as suspected “spam” is Monty Python-derived. Just like the ever-present canned meat, email spam is everywhere!) The time employees spend deleting spam costs businesses nearly $22 billion a year.
The technological marvel known as email has actually been around since 1971, but it was not until more than 20 years later that email found its way into the mainstream. Couple it with Instant Messaging, and it is no wonder that we feel inundated by electronic communication. Trying to manage this daily deluge and tend to the myriad of other tasks our jobs and lives require make for a long and potentially frustrating day. In fact, the average email user spends at least an hour a day on email and some spend many more.
What does all this mean? It means that although we love the technology, if we cannot manage electronic communication better, we risk being overrun by it.
So what are our chief complaints about email? Volume, volume, volume. And not of the good, important, informative and necessary variety. Instead, of the bad (sometimes really bad) unimportant, useless and time-wasting variety. The sheer number, coupled with the sometimes deplorable composition of email, makes one wary (and weary) of opening the mailbox.
The good news is that there are many ways in which we can cut down on the number of emails we receive, ensure we are not unduly contributing to others’ email overload and send communication appropriate for business. Among them:
• Consider how your message will come across. Be very careful with humor, sarcasm, irony and tone. If you would not say it in person, do not say it in an email.
• Apply business standards to your writing. Your good grammar, spelling and punctuation reflect upon you and the organization for which you work. Avoid the use of all capital letters in your message, as this is tantamount to shouting. And be sure to use the subject line as a succinct summary of the message to follow.
• Do not “Reply to All” or “CC All” unless absolutely necessary. To protect others’ privacy, remove their addresses from the messages you forward whenever possible. Do not forward chain letters and avoid sending jokes and warnings.
• To protect yourself from unnecessary mail, use spam filters, remove your address from unwanted mailing lists and let associates and friends know you would prefer not to receive anything other than business communiqués at work. Remember, email received on a company computer is company property, potentially available for your boss or anyone else to see.
• When replying to an email, include only that part of the message necessary to establish the context and delete the rest. Quote text by using < at the beginning and > at the end of the pertinent information. Your reply goes beneath the quoted text.
• Ask for permission before sending attachments of more than 500 KB. Large downloads may tie up an email program at an inconvenient time.
• Use plain text as opposed to HTML whenever possible, as not everyone can receive fancy formatting.
• Remember, this is business communication. “Smileys” and clip art have no place.
• Finally, keep email brief, and do not use for all communication. When relationship-building (and keeping) are the goal, nothing replaces the human voice!
Employing E-Etiquette will help ensure your emails are given the attention they deserve and reflect upon you as the knowledgeable, sophisticated professional you are!
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Office Party Etiquette
The holidays are upon us, and with them the opportunity to celebrate with co-workers and bosses; the perfect time to relax after a year of hard work, and perhaps “kick up your heels” at the office party, right? Wrong! The office party, despite the food, libations and decorations, is a time when professionalism (or the lack thereof) is most noticed. In order to enjoy yourself, and guard against making a less-than-businesslike impression, it is important to observe some basic guidelines:
• Respond to the invitation promptly, and go if you have accepted! Your host is planning for refreshments, staffing needs and possibly entertainment based upon the number of people expected. To cancel at the last minute (except in the case of an emergency) or to skip the party entirely is not only impolite, it may also create a large and unnecessary expense for your host.
• If you are invited with a guest, you may certainly bring one, but do not otherwise ask to do so. And remember, your guest’s behavior and dress will reflect upon you.
• Dress appropriately. If you’re not sure what to wear, ask the host. When in doubt, it is better to dress more conservatively than less.
• Say “hello” to the host and to other senior level persons, but do not involve them in lengthy conversations, as it is their job to circulate among all of the guests. Especially do not use the office party as an opportunity to air grievances, ask for a raise, or gossip. And no flirting with the boss, employees or the spouses of others!
• Circulate and introduce yourself and your guest to others. Master the art of “small talk.” The office party is not the time to discuss controversial matters. Tried and true topics such as the weather or sports, or others, such as books or local happenings are appropriate. Religion and politics and other weighty topics are not.
• Help yourself to refreshments, but do not overdo it. And be very careful about the consumption of alcohol. The words and actions of someone under the influence will be remembered, perhaps forever, and it is just not worth the risk. It is perfectly acceptable and festive (and safer all around) to have non-alcoholic beverages.
• Be an enthusiastic and participative guest. If there is dancing, singing or other activities, join in, and encourage others to do so as well. Your host is hoping that the party will be enjoyable for everyone and will be appreciative of your attitude.
• Try not to be the first or last to leave. Leaving earlier than most may give others the impression that the party is over, encouraging them to depart before the host had planned. Leaving last, especially if the host is waiting for you, is not advised either.
• Be sure to thank the host, and follow-up the next day with a brief handwritten note. You will be remembered as a polite and gracious guest.
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