Regifting is for wimps” proclaim new billboards around town. The slogan is one of 24 “insights” launching Macy’s holiday ad campaign. (Others include “Gift-giving plan: One for them, two for me.”) These represent “the mind of a female consumer. They’re the insights of how you would think if you are getting ready for shopping,” according to Martine Reardon, executive vice president for marketing and advertising for Macy’s eastern division.

Maybe, but they got it wrong. Regifting is definitely not for wimps. It requires a good memory, rare self-confidence, and a touch of social recklessness.

Still, it’s startling to see “regifting” out of the closet (where the regifts are stored) and up on billboards. The concept of recycling a gift that someone else gave you is old, but the word “regifting” is new. It reputedly comes from a 1995 “Seinfeld” episode about a label marker that kept being reintroduced to the gift-stream, and is one of many words added to the English language by that TV show, which should have received some kind of etymology award.

Is regifting really bad, though? Some see it as a form of recycling that may hark back to the old fashioned virtue of Yankee thrift. After all, when people wrap up something they don’t want and trade it for co-workers’ castoffs at the office holiday party, it’s called a “Yankee swap.” Are we a region of regifters?

A recent survey by the American Express company found not only that one-third of those polled admit to regifting, but that the practice is most popular on the East and West coasts. More surprising, a survey by Monday Management International found that the higher a family’s income, the more likely that were to be regifters.

What of the ethics involved? The answers from etiquette experts may surprise you.

“It’s not a bad thing. Once a gift is given to someone, it’s theirs to do with what they wish,” said Rosanne Thomas, owner of Protocol Advisors Inc. on Beacon Street in Boston, which provides social and business etiquette training. “That’s what gift giving is all about. There’re no strings attached. There’s no moral difference between recruiting and regifting. Etiquette doesn’t require you keep anything, just that you are very grateful when you receive it.

At the same time, Thomas acknowledged, “I wouldn’t want to be the one whose gift is regifted. So you never left the giver know, because their feelings might be hurt. No one needs to know the source of the gift, either. We don’t need to be apologetic about it.

In other words, regifting is not rude, but confessing or letting yourself get caught is.

Peggy Post, etiquette author and spokeswoman for the Emily Post institute in Burlington, Vt., is cautions.

Post’s rules for regifting are that the gift should be nice, not a castoff, and something the recipicent would like. It also should be in new condition in its orginal box, but all previous gift tags should be removed. This is called destroying the evidence and cannot be overstressed. There are horror stories of people receiving salad spinners with very old lettuce clinging and boxes of half-eaten chocolates.

Don’t give the newlyweds candlesticks with best wishes enclosed for someone else’s wedding.

Etiquette columnist Judith Martin, also known as Miss Manners, agrees that regifting is permissible.

“This is one of those times people ought to bless manners for the fact that unlike morality, it lets you get away free, provided you don’t get caught,” she said in an email forwarded by her assistant. “This means that regifting requires changing the wrapping, removing any previous cards, and, most of all, remembering who have it to you so you don’t give it back to the donor or anyone he or she is likely to encounter.”

There are other options for that unwanted gift. You can give it to charity, and even take a tax deduction. You can return it for a refund, or you can sell it. Ebay is brimming with unwanted gifts every January. Post advises waiting a few years. If you eBay that skyblue NASCAR tree ornament too soon, the brother who have it to you may spot it on the web. (This actually happened, Post said.)

A few years ago, eBay had a promotion called “Regifting on eBay.” Jim Griffith of eBay, the self-described San Jose-based “dean of eBay education,” said selling Christmas figts gets a lot of people started on eBay.

“Everyone has a gift in a closet that they just don’t want,“ he said. “It’s  the perfect way to start selling on eBay because there’s an impetus to get rid of it. If it’s a bottle of Old Spice, nobody’s going to notice. If it’s a diesel truck ornament, you could be outted, however, Some people use a code so they can’t be identified.”

If you are going to tell someone that you are giving them something you received free at the office, or anything other than a treasured heirloom that you received from someone else, don’t wrap it and don’t link it to a special occasion, said Thomas. Just hand them the sweater and say it was a gift that doesn’t fit you but you thought it might look perfect on them.

Fine, but this won’t help with your Christmas gift list.

If you are going shopping in your closet, everyone agrees you must rewrap the prize so the paper, at least, is new. A big bow is also good. Once you do this, however, you have crossed the Rubicon into tight-lipped secrecy.

“Gift wrap may imply that you actually purchased it,“ said Thomas. “If you get a lot of thanks, you may feel guilty. But if you haven’t owned up before then, don’t change your story halfway through the game and admit that someone else gave it to you.”

Cautioned Post, “If it all seems like too much intrigue, don’t do it.”

Meanwhile, silence is golden in this game. If you see your gift in someone else’s home, said Post, “Grin and bear it and be happy it found a home.”

By Carol Stocker (Globes Staff)